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“What more?” he asked innocently enough. Perhaps I could shatter his innocence just a bit.“Mother left me a letter – I found it in an old trunk not many years ago.”Auden was nodding.“She told of a baby, of a family with an older child that took that baby.”Auden was still nodding, a knowing nod, as if what I was sharing wasn’t ... wasn’t shameful, wasn’t something that needed to be hidden, wasn’t something that clung to you, like filth from a cesspool, that somehow contaminated you forever. Why was he looking that way?“Yes,” he answered, quietly.He was affirming what I was saying but his look was, ‘so what’. I’d spell it out clearly for him, even if I had to rip the words from the depths of my shattered and nearly lifeless soul.“You are older than Duane. Do you not know what I’m talking about?” The voice I heard saying that had an anguished tone that I’d not heard since that night with Markus.The faintest hint of a smile crossed Auden’s face, then quickly disappeared.A part of me. "Are you…OK?" He asked quietly, leaning forward, looking a bit concerned but more bemused, or amused by now, than concerned."I'm fine." I snapped, suddenly aware of what I was doing.He blinked and leaned back at the tone of my voice. Harsh, unfriendly, snappy. I felt like such an idiot. I shot to my feet and extended my hand as he had done, without thinking, then hoped he wouldn’t ignore it the same way I had ignored his. I tried to smile but it probably looked like a grimace. I felt cunt juice seeping through my panties."I am so sorry." I said. "It's just that you remind me of a very close friend of mine."I was desperate for something to explain my idiotic behaviour. That was all I could think of."Who's dead." I added, thinking that should explain it.I realised how stupid that sounded the moment it was out. A close, dead friend? Really? Oh My God.He stood up and took my hand. He held it firmly and I felt electricity shooting up my arm and radiating across my chest making my nipples.
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